To be or not to be...

Normal...that is the question. Since I left my job back in May, I've been working hard to make enough money through sewing and other jobs to make our monthly budget. I've done pretty well so far, but boy, has October been rough. I'm starting to get stressed and wonder where the next paycheck will come from and will it arrive on time and will it be enough. I'm struggling to keep my faith sometimes and it's hard to relax. I'm taking extra time in the morning to chat with God and sit outside by the pond and just listen to what I'm being told and that really helps. A few things are coming through. A friend who's had back surgery has been told that there's simply some things she will not be able to do anymore and she's hired me to help her out around the house every other week. A client who has ordered 3 quilts is paying out over time, bi-weekly. Another friend got me a job as a poll worker on Election Day. Small things like that are panning out. And then a friend who works at a shop that I used to work out gave her notice. My very first thought was "I'll just talk to the owner and take over that job". It wouldn't be much money, but it would be steady. Consistent. Comfortable. Even though this is a job that I left, willingly, because my personality didn't quite fit in. Sometimes it was awkward, even uncomfortably so. And yet, I was willing to go back because it was steady. So I asked my DH to come sit with me by the pond and chat with me about things. First, he said that he really appreciated the fact that I was considering getting another steady job. Second, he said that he really thought that me returning to work at this particular location would not be a good idea. Then he took my hands in his and looked me in the face and said "honey, normal jobs aren't really your style". I was taken aback a little, feeling like he was saying that I wasn't capable. But then I realized that he wasn't. He was saying that maybe I'm different. Unconventional. Eccentric. It's not that I'm not a hard worker, or competent, or capable. I'm all of those things and more. He was saying that I wouldn't be happy. He was saying that it's ok to march to your own drummer. He was saying that he loves me not in spite of me being a square peg, but because of it. It's ok with him if I meet our budget by cleaning someone's bathroom, or helping someone organize their home, or selling things at a craft fair, or working one day at a polling place or all of the above and more. He trusts me to do the right thing even if it's not the way everyone else's wife would do it. It took such a load off of my shoulders and my heart. I was afraid that he would be embarrassed by some of my "job" choices, but he's not. He embraces my differences. My unconventional style. My way of trusting that God and the Universe will care for me if I trust and care for others. I'm glad I'm not normal. Not that there's anything wrong with it. It's just not for me.

And here's a secret. I knew I've always been a little different, but I never realized how different I really am until today. I asked DH why he had never told me. His response? "I thought you knew".

So on that note, any one have any odd jobs that need to be done?

Peace