Dream a little dream

The other night I was awakened by a horrible nightmare. It was so vivid and somewhat plausible (if you think like I do) that I actually started worrying that it wasn't REALLY a dream. In my dream, I was told that my whole entire life was make believe. That I had had a psychotic break 15 years ago. That my life got so bad that I just made up a new one. That I was in a mental institution and that I was living in a dream world. Nothing was real about it. My amazing husband. My amazing and successful kids. My great little house and property. My friends. My skills. All a product of an overactive, malfunctioning, insane mind. I was terrified. I woke my husband and made him tell me he was real. But then, of course that's what I did. And he obliged....but wouldn't my make believe husband reassure me in my darkest hour because that's what the ideal husband would do? So really, it didn't do much to allay my fears. (Trust me, at 2 in the morning anything makes sense). Then he said to me "well, if this really IS a dream, it's a pretty good one" and fell back asleep with his arm around me. I lay in bed afraid to go back to sleep and started to calm down and logically (I use that term loosely) think about the dream and what DH said. I can remember sitting at the dinner table with my family when I was in about 8th grade. I said I wanted 2 kids. A boy first, and then 5 years later a girl. I wanted it that way so that my daughter would have a big brother to look after her like a big brother should. I said I wanted to live in an old house I could fix up. I said I wanted to sell crafts and ladybugs and vegetables. I wanted to be self sufficient or as close to it as modern life allows. I know what you're thinking....big dreams. I hadn't yet really formed any ideas on a career, very similar to now. But the point of this exercise is to say that everything, with the exception of the ladybugs has become a reality in my life. Interesting.

I relayed my dream and thoughts to some friends and they thanked me for including them in my delusion and for giving them such interesting and varied lives, and they also suggested that I manifest some extra cash for everyone involved.

My conclusions: A) Perhaps I am in a mental institution but what a great life I've created or B) maybe we actually have some control in the outcome of our lives. Maybe I had Faith that these things would happen without even knowing it was Faith. I just knew it to be true. Of course, I took many wrong turns but I ended up in the place that I wanted to be. And I'm grateful.

I am working on that cash issue though...


Peace