It's not that exciting

I should probably be making dinner right now, but I decided I'd do something else first.  This, specifically.  I seem to be coming out of the dregs.  Slowly, but surely.  And it feels pretty good. Things are sometimes still a little scary or sad, but on the whole, I feel much more like me.  Like I'm getting my rhythm back.  So in that vein, I thought I'd post about what I'd been doing around the old homestead like I used to do back in the day when I started this silly thing.

Garden update:  As I mentioned before, most  of my veg beds had pretty much died of neglect.  I was bemoaning their fate and the cost in time and money of having to rebuild before I could do any gardening to a good friend and she suggested just tearing them all out and going old school and just digging the whole damn thing up.  I thought that a grand idea and drafted my husband.  We got the beds smashed up, which was pretty fun, and then cut up (not so fun) and then all transported to the dumpster (not fun at all).  All that is pretty amazing, considering we usually start a project and ....yeah, it just ends right about there.  So, then the digging began.  By the hubs, of course, because he's awesome like that.  It's about a third dug, and I've started planting on the outskirts of the tilled areas.  I've got onions and peas in back there.  Around the east side of the house, I've got 3 potato bins set up and planted with red potatoes and then snap peas on top.  And I've got a bunch of volunteer lettuce growing in the "path" areas that I'm just gonna let grow.  I have 2 new peach trees, courtesy of some very good friends.  They are part of the fruit tree family that was planted last year.  A cherry, a plum and a pomegranate.  And some grape vines. And blackberries and raspberries.  That's what survived my neglect last year, and I'm pretty shocked anything did.

That's about all I have to report right now.  I am thinking that I would like to try a CSA again this year.  I haven't recruited anyone yet.  I've been so behind on everything, I thought I'd just offer it up as I had surplus.

Hoping this blog can keep me honest and accountable.  Homesteading, pioneering, off the grid-ing...whatever you call it, it's what I want to do more than pretty much anything else.  Practicing my old school home arts makes me just about as happy as a girl could be.  I can't let life steal my joy again.
 

D

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

I wanted to write a really poignant post about how stressful and horrible this last year was, and explain how great my friends, neighbors and family are, but the words don't seem to be flowing very well.  Instead, my fingers keep wanting to type that I actually wanted to play in the dirt today.  And I can't remember the last time that I wanted to do that.  So maybe I'm not in survival mode anymore.  Maybe life is returning to that happy medium everyone talks about wanting, but no one appreciates. (I REALLY appreciate it now) Maybe playing in the dirt is my canary in a coal mine.  I don't know.  All I know is that it was really nice being out in the sun and listening to the birds and the leaves, even though my yard looks like a nuclear test site right about now and it's too late to get a fall garden in and most of my raised beds self destructed under neglect and will need to be rebuilt before next spring.

So I guess that's it.  Really crappy year. Really really great friends and family. Playing in the dirt. 

That's all I got.

Peace

When I grow up

In my last post, I said that I was pondering my goals.  It took me FOREVER to do it.  I just couldn't put anything on paper that looked or felt right.  It was things like "have a successful Etsy shop", "teach classes" or "quilt for a living".  All things that sound like they should be my goals.  But they're not.  Not at all.  I became frustrated with the process and set it aside.  One day,  on my day off, I was happily vacuuming and cleaning my home (yes, I truly enjoy puttering and cleaning my little house) and that lightbulb that so often stays dark came on.  I found my goal.  And I was shocked.  What is it?  I want to stay home. Is want to be a farm wife. I want to wake up in the morning and take care of my home and my family and animals.  I want to make curtains and paint walls and create a warm place for the people in my life to come and feel safe.  I want to provide amazing healthful food.  I want to tend to my garden and when there's extra, provide it to my friends.  I want to make rain barrels.  And chicken coops. and ......well, you get the picture.  And I want to do ALL of that without feeling guilty. And if, by some chance, I can do all of that, and it creates income, all the better.  I looked at all the numbers, and they were scary.  A lot of stuff needs to be accomplished in order for me to be able to achieve my goal, so I created an "action wall".  I have charts for bills that need to be paid off, and ways to do it, charts for the amount of hours that I've worked, charts for quilt jobs, charts everywhere.  And a DAILY breakdown of what I need to do every single day of the week to accomplish what I need.  And to be able to mark a box off  the chart.  There is nothing I love more than checking off boxes on charts.  I can see what I've done and make adjustments and feel good about things.  And it just may be working.  And a really good thing happened.  Through a random series of bizarre events and conversations, I have an old un-used farm, close to home (like 5 miles) that I can use.  Seriously.  I know that I'll never own my very own farm, and so this is the next best thing.

For the next 6 months, I will be working about 80 hours a week.  Which sounds really awful.  And it could be, if I didn't have those charts.  When I look at them, I remember why I'm doing what I'm doing and I feel like I'm really working towards something instead of just working.  And that feels good. 

Peace

Goals

I know that I've posted of goals before.  Or something similar.  Here I go again.  So, I took this job here in town to help see us over the hump of opening a new business.  It's not my dream job, but it's one that pays.  I am astoundingly grateful that I have it right now, all things being equal. But to be honest, I really can't see myself being there in a year.  So, I asked myself this evening, where WOULD I like to be in a year?  (providing of course, that the Maya were just playing a trick on us and the Zombie Apocalypse doesn't happen)  I have a few ideas floating around in my head of where APPROXIMATELY I'd like to be, but I think I need to ponder and put pen to paper to determine EXACTLY where that place is and how to get there.  I will report back to you.

Peace

D

Aha Moment

I learned a lesson today.  A very important lesson.  What I learned today is that whatever bad stuff is going on in my life isn't bad enough for me to dwell on and wallow in and pretend is the center of the Universe.  What I learned is that when I stop worrying about my bad stuff and start caring about other people's bad stuff and what I can do to make it better, my bad stuff gets smaller and smaller until it doesn't affect every second of my day.

Interesting.

D

Dream a little dream

The other night I was awakened by a horrible nightmare. It was so vivid and somewhat plausible (if you think like I do) that I actually started worrying that it wasn't REALLY a dream. In my dream, I was told that my whole entire life was make believe. That I had had a psychotic break 15 years ago. That my life got so bad that I just made up a new one. That I was in a mental institution and that I was living in a dream world. Nothing was real about it. My amazing husband. My amazing and successful kids. My great little house and property. My friends. My skills. All a product of an overactive, malfunctioning, insane mind. I was terrified. I woke my husband and made him tell me he was real. But then, of course that's what I did. And he obliged....but wouldn't my make believe husband reassure me in my darkest hour because that's what the ideal husband would do? So really, it didn't do much to allay my fears. (Trust me, at 2 in the morning anything makes sense). Then he said to me "well, if this really IS a dream, it's a pretty good one" and fell back asleep with his arm around me. I lay in bed afraid to go back to sleep and started to calm down and logically (I use that term loosely) think about the dream and what DH said. I can remember sitting at the dinner table with my family when I was in about 8th grade. I said I wanted 2 kids. A boy first, and then 5 years later a girl. I wanted it that way so that my daughter would have a big brother to look after her like a big brother should. I said I wanted to live in an old house I could fix up. I said I wanted to sell crafts and ladybugs and vegetables. I wanted to be self sufficient or as close to it as modern life allows. I know what you're thinking....big dreams. I hadn't yet really formed any ideas on a career, very similar to now. But the point of this exercise is to say that everything, with the exception of the ladybugs has become a reality in my life. Interesting.

I relayed my dream and thoughts to some friends and they thanked me for including them in my delusion and for giving them such interesting and varied lives, and they also suggested that I manifest some extra cash for everyone involved.

My conclusions: A) Perhaps I am in a mental institution but what a great life I've created or B) maybe we actually have some control in the outcome of our lives. Maybe I had Faith that these things would happen without even knowing it was Faith. I just knew it to be true. Of course, I took many wrong turns but I ended up in the place that I wanted to be. And I'm grateful.

I am working on that cash issue though...


Peace

Spring Cleaning

I was up visiting my parent's this last week. My mom mentioned that I posted that last blog posting and then fell of the face of the planet. So much has gone on and so many things have happened since October that I would think "OOOO! that would make an excellent topic for a blog post" and then I'd come home and be so tired or so busy that I never could make myself sit alone at the computer in it's dark corner to write about it. So I compose in my head and then set it adrift in the atmosphere for y'all to listen for it. I guess that system is not quite as effective as actually writing it down and sending out via the great internet in the cosmos. So I will try to do better starting now. Of course, it helps that a wonderful friend gave me a laptop so now I'm sitting on the sofa w/ my husband watching the History channel and blogging w/ a cat curled up in my lap. Much more attractive than before.

In the last 5 months I have experienced great joy and great sadness, overwhelming peace and anxiety, satisfaction and wanting....and at the end of the day, I'm still glad that I am who I am living the life I'm living and doing it in my own weird way. I guess I can't really go back and tell you everything, but here's the cliff note version. All my kids came home for Christmas which was astoundingly awesome. I started a "temporary job" at a hippie cloth diaper store run by a friend and it's turned into a permanent part time position. I'm not only cleaning bathrooms for a friend but also her whole house and the dwellings for 2 other clients. I have been diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat and also a severely prolapsed mitral valve with "significant regurgitation" which is a great excuse to have my husband carry heavy things for me. I learned how to knit in January and love it and now have another obsession which I'm absolutely POSITIVE that I needed. I finally broke down and bought a real solar oven and it's the coolest thing ever. I'm pretty sure those are all the highlights. And they're not the things that would have inspired me to sit down and pour my heart out to y'all. well, maybe the kids at Christmas, but that would have been they left. That sucked.

Spring is here and I'm able to spend more time outside and that's when I get to listen for the sound of life to tell me things. For God and Mother Nature to whisper their truths to me. For me to be able to be still enough to listen for the directions for my life. I love spring. It renews me. Physically, spiritually, emotionally and every other way that it can.

This didn't turn out to be the post that I wanted it to be but I guess it's the one I was supposed to write as my return to the blogging fold. I guess I'm a little rusty, but I'll get oiled up I'm sure.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end.

Peace,

D

To be or not to be...

Normal...that is the question. Since I left my job back in May, I've been working hard to make enough money through sewing and other jobs to make our monthly budget. I've done pretty well so far, but boy, has October been rough. I'm starting to get stressed and wonder where the next paycheck will come from and will it arrive on time and will it be enough. I'm struggling to keep my faith sometimes and it's hard to relax. I'm taking extra time in the morning to chat with God and sit outside by the pond and just listen to what I'm being told and that really helps. A few things are coming through. A friend who's had back surgery has been told that there's simply some things she will not be able to do anymore and she's hired me to help her out around the house every other week. A client who has ordered 3 quilts is paying out over time, bi-weekly. Another friend got me a job as a poll worker on Election Day. Small things like that are panning out. And then a friend who works at a shop that I used to work out gave her notice. My very first thought was "I'll just talk to the owner and take over that job". It wouldn't be much money, but it would be steady. Consistent. Comfortable. Even though this is a job that I left, willingly, because my personality didn't quite fit in. Sometimes it was awkward, even uncomfortably so. And yet, I was willing to go back because it was steady. So I asked my DH to come sit with me by the pond and chat with me about things. First, he said that he really appreciated the fact that I was considering getting another steady job. Second, he said that he really thought that me returning to work at this particular location would not be a good idea. Then he took my hands in his and looked me in the face and said "honey, normal jobs aren't really your style". I was taken aback a little, feeling like he was saying that I wasn't capable. But then I realized that he wasn't. He was saying that maybe I'm different. Unconventional. Eccentric. It's not that I'm not a hard worker, or competent, or capable. I'm all of those things and more. He was saying that I wouldn't be happy. He was saying that it's ok to march to your own drummer. He was saying that he loves me not in spite of me being a square peg, but because of it. It's ok with him if I meet our budget by cleaning someone's bathroom, or helping someone organize their home, or selling things at a craft fair, or working one day at a polling place or all of the above and more. He trusts me to do the right thing even if it's not the way everyone else's wife would do it. It took such a load off of my shoulders and my heart. I was afraid that he would be embarrassed by some of my "job" choices, but he's not. He embraces my differences. My unconventional style. My way of trusting that God and the Universe will care for me if I trust and care for others. I'm glad I'm not normal. Not that there's anything wrong with it. It's just not for me.

And here's a secret. I knew I've always been a little different, but I never realized how different I really am until today. I asked DH why he had never told me. His response? "I thought you knew".

So on that note, any one have any odd jobs that need to be done?

Peace

Goals

It occurred to me the other day that I needed to write down some goals. Sometimes we get so bogged down with trying to stay afloat that we forget that we should be working towards something. A nice retirement, financial independence, a new roof, a new purse, even more money in the budget to spend on groceries or an occasional night out with the hubby. These are all goals. Some of them are more humble than the others and some are long term and some are short term. But you MUST have them. Otherwise, at the end of another week at the grind with nothing to show for it and barely a penny in your pocket you feel hopeless and wonder why you even bother. I asked my DH where he thought we should be in 5 years and he had no answer. He'd never thought about it, just the day to day keeping-the-lights-on nose-to-the-grindstone rut of going to work b/c you're supposed to. I proposed some goal setting.

I can't really discuss my husband's goals, because they're not mine. But I can discuss my goals. One of my goals is to get my Etsy shop up and running and successful. I've recently become involved in the Etsy Holiday Boot Camp to help artists with their shops and one of the tasks in the first weeks check list was to write a mission statement. I just sorta stared at that task and thought about checking it off without doing it. How am I supposed to write a mission statement? That's for big corporations and businesses...not for the Lone Quilter on a Quest who just wants to make some extra money. I went back to the website with the checklist and found a link on how to get started. They asked 2 simple questions to help you with your mission statement. They are:

Why am I working my butt off?
What is my motivation?

Excellent questions! Why do I want to make extra money? What are my goals? So I wrote down my motivations. It was slow going at first, but once I got that first one down on paper more started flowing out of the tip of my pen. Pay for C's college, tickets to see my son and his wife, pay off some medical bills, go to a hockey game with DH, make things easier. After a while I noticed that they all sort of had the same theme and that theme was my Mission. I HAVE A MISSION! And from that, I have a Mission Statement. And here it is:

"To use my abilities and passions to help my family and I achieve our goals and dreams and to become more independent."

Short, sweet and to the point. It encompasses everything I have on my list of goals. I learned that goals are what motivate you to work smarter, achieve greater, think broader, help more, be happier. They give you purpose. They give you hope. They give you faith.

I challenge you to write down some goals. For today, next week, next month, next year. Once you have them written down, you can create a road map on how to get there. You have to know where you're going in order to arrive.

I wish you all peace

D

Success (sorta)

I successfully (sorta) survived my first day back in the empty nester world. My DH had a very long day at work, so I was alone from the time I woke up until about dinner time. The house was startling in it's quiet-ness. Even the dog knows that things are different now. She just laid on the floor, close to me no matter what room I was in. I had to run out to the grocery store to pick up dinner fixins' and she acted very worried when I grabbed my purse. Monroe, my grand-fish is gone as well. He went back to school with C so I don't have the morning routine of feeding and chatting with him while I drink my coffee anymore. Things change so much in the blink of an eye. I guess I was "successful" in surviving in the way that I didn't sit in her room and cry all day, but the "sorta" part was more telling. I got things done. I did my regular chores. I did my regular sewing. I did my regular cooking. But there was something alive and vibrant missing from those things. My daughter is a wonderful young woman. Caring, compassionate, sweet, loving, funny, loyal, smart, beautiful and with a helpful spirit. When she's home, there's not a chore that I set out to do with out hearing "Momma, do you need any help?" Today, that spirit was missing along with the stupid inside jokes and movie quotes and random dance breaks and all the other stuff that we do that no one else gets. My heart hurts because I miss her but more importantly my heart hurts because it's bursting with pride and love for her. She is becoming a successful young woman with good friends surrounding her and a goal in front of her. I did a good job and that makes me happy. From here on out, everything else in my life is gravy. I was blessed with the loan of two amazing people. I raised them and then gave them back to the world. I am a lucky woman. But I sure miss them

deb

My last day with C. The summer went so fast. Today will be spent packing and cleaning and trying not to cry. We leave by 8 in the morning to take her back

It's Getting Hot Out Here

When I log into my account to post a blog (which I've been meaning to do) it tells me when the last post was made. June 28th, I believe it said. That's just too long. At that point, we were living without the big a/c unit. We went without the big unit for a couple of weeks, and then a friend of mine offered the loan of a portable a/c unit for our bedroom. It has been pretty awesome. I learned that we could conceivably live without a/c, but I'm really glad that we don't. Especially these last couple of weeks. We are in the dog days of summer. Temps over a 100 every day and not a cloud in the sky. The sun is just beating down on Texas baking everything. It sucks the life and energy from you and all you want to do is take a nap. Which sucks because now is the time when I should be getting my fall garden set up. I have beds to weed and re-plant along with all the regular yard work, plus I'm slowly digging up plants and laying down cardboard and mulch in the front to get ready to plant my new edible landscaping this winter or next spring. Plus, I had planned on painting my house this summer. I've just been staying inside and ignoring the outside but I realized that I have to cowboy up and just get things done, so one task in the morning and one task in the evening will have to get me by until it starts to cool. Last night I worked on mulching the front yard and this morning I weed whacked in between the veg beds so I can at least get out there and work and not have to crawl through the long grass. Tonight, I think I'll plant some pumpkins in the old corn bed. I left the stalks in there so it will shade the soil a little to give the seeds an opportunity to germinate. hmmmm...maybe I should start the seeds indoors and just put the plants out in a few days. That might work better. The other task I was going to have C help with is to wash the rocks in the bio filter. It's getting a little clogged up in there and I'm losing water as it drains over the top.

I lost some plants due to the heat and lack of water, but with my gray water system up and running my pepper plants have survived, along with one watermelon plant and a few tomatoes. I will be cutting the mater plants way back and letting them start again for fall tomatoes. My garden wasn't quite as productive as I had hoped this year, but I'm learning (always) and next year will be better. It always is.

The broiler chickens were processed on July 22nd, so now I have a freezer full of delicious homegrown meat. I ordered a meat grinder attachment for my mixer and now I'll be able to make chicken sausage and such to help vary the ways to use the meat.

Seems like my thoughts aren't really flowing well today. Sorry about that. I'll blame it on the heat. :)

y'all stay cool

Perspective

Good Monday morning, friends,

today I'd like to discuss "perspective". Last week I got our first summer electric bill. I whined and complained and threatened to just turn the damn thing off and live in the back yard to spite the cost of cool air. Well, I guess the universe took me at my word, as the universe often will. Last night, our main air conditioner unit bit the dust. A little background on our house and the cool/heat system. Our home was built in 1907 (or there abouts). The house really is very similar to when it was built. The front porch was screened in somewhere in the 50s, the back porch was extended and turned into an extra room and the front bedroom was opened up to create on long front room and it serves as my dining room now. Other than that, everything is the same. Old floors (wood), old windows (double hung), doors everywhere, tall ceilings. This house was built to deal with the hot summers.

Back to the story. My first instinct was to get that familiar lump in my throat and fluttery feeling in my stomach. We can't afford to replace this particular unit right now and all I could think of was "OMG! It's only June...not even really hot yet for Texas". But then, things started to really fall into perspective. The main point being that people have lived (and still do) without a/c in this part of the world for centuries. They deal. They adapt. They work with nature to do so. And of course, I can't ever be satisfied with the explanation of "shit happens". There has to be some existential reasoning behind everything. Perhaps I was taking things for granted. Perhaps I need to learn how to live without a/c for some future disaster. Perhaps I need to spend more time outdoors doing things that I need to do instead of hanging out inside watching movies and sucking up cool air. Perhaps I need to take advantage of this situation to see where I need to improve things in the house (ie: insulated drapes for the windows, more ceiling fans, etc) Perhaps I just need to learn to adapt and make the best of things and still be thankful for what I've got instead of being a brat about things I don't.

This morning I got up early and went out on the front porch to drink my coffee and plan my day. I even got my husband to turn off the morning tv and come out and spend some time just being and chatting and enjoying each other's company. It was lovely. All my chores got done early and now I can sew during the heat of the day. C and I are setting up our summer kitchen today outdoors. I've been wanting to do that for a few years and never have b/c I never needed to. I love being outdoors and cooking outdoors, you'd think I'd have an outdoor kitchen set up year round! Well, now I will.

Since we don't have central a/c, C has a small window unit in her room and there's also one in my sewing room. We've closed doors in such a manner to create a cool area (bedrooms and sewing room) and it's fairly comfortable for sleeping and sewing. This could be a good experience for all of us. Best part? We're going to save a LOT of money this summer and that's always a good thing.

I've put it in perspective. Instead of thinking this is a disaster, I'm now thinking that I'm pretty stoked about it. Everything happens for a reason. We just have to roll with the punches and put things in perspective. Attitude is everything, and everything is a learning experience. It's also a chance to count your blessings and realize that you still have it pretty good.

Ok. I think I'm done. I need to go hang some more laundry. We have a 50% chance of rain, and I've found the second best way to ensure rain (1st is washing the car and leaving the windows down) is hanging 3 loads of laundry on the line.

ya'll stay cool and keep things in perspective

peace

Daring Bakers: Piece Montie

The May 2010 Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Cat of Little Miss Cupcake. Cat challenged everyone to make a piece montée, or croquembouche, based on recipes from Peter Kump’s Baking School in Manhattan and Nick Malgieri.

Wow..ok, so I'm really glad that I don't bake for a living. While the group I'm in is called the "Daring Bakers", I'm really quite a timid baker. I love the idea of baking, but the execution just scares the hell out of me. Luckily, I have a great sense of humor and find most things funny.

This challenge started off badly, with me being so scared to do this that I stalled so long I'm 2 days late in posting, b/c I just now made the darn thing. The creme patisserie was easy peasy and I got a little cocky. The choux batter/dough was relatively simple, but when it came to piping it, it was kind of runny and they flattened out instead of staying perky and round. As I bent over to put the cookie sheet filled with the uncooked choux, the parchment paper made a break for it and slid off into the bottom of my oven, accordioning itself. I grabbed the edge of it and tried to unfold it and place it back on the cookie sheet. Some of it was still wadded up and some was not. I did have a second sheet with about 6 or 7 choux on it, so that went in the oven as well.

I lost about a 3rd of them, and most of the rest were dramatically deformed. But once you fill an ugly puff with delicious creme and then dip it in melted chocolate and stack them in an interpretive pile and glob the rest of the melted chocolate on top, if you can stop laughing long enough to give one a try, you will be quite pleased with the results. We (hubby and daughter and I) all thought they were quite tasty and I'll certainly try making this again. I learned a lot from this experience. The best thing I learned is that even if I mess it up, the earth is not going to come to a standstill. AND...it doesn't matter what it looks like if it tastes good.

sooooo.... ready for the picture? You have my permission to laugh. It's ok, I did.

We took 2 photos in the hopes that it might have a "good" side. It did not. I did, however, use a lovely vintage cake plate. That's gotta count for something, right? lol

Can't wait til next month....

peace (and chocolate cream puffs)

Deb

Toning up mind and body

Lately I've been allowing God to take control of my life. (A very dear friend gave me a book called "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore) That pretty much means I'm giving him all my baggage, and let me tell ya, there's a TON of it. It seems like such a simple and logical thing to do...giving away all of that stuff. It's much like de-cluttering your home. You attach too much meaning to an item, but once you break through that and get rid of it, you feel so much better and want to clear out more and more. You see the structure underneath. It's so....liberating! And as the saying goes, where your mind goes, so goes the body. I've noticed it's a ripple effect, actually. I started clearing my mind and making space for all the good things God has for me, mentally and emotionally. I start to feel good about myself and that motivates me to feel good about my physical form and take better care of it. So I've been getting up every morning and walking/running about 3 miles. When I get home, I'm full of energy and good feelings and that motivates me to want to feel good about my yard, so I spend much more time in the yard trying to get it back into shape and of course, the logical progression is that I wanna spend some time getting the house back into shape to go with the yard....It's one of those "give a moose a muffin" things.

Now, I know that I won't always wanna get up and run, and that the yard maintenance will sometimes be overwhelming and that tool I need to replace the gutters on the house will cost too much and that there's gonna be days when the anxiety takes a hold and tries to cripple me. But now I feel that I know how to fight it and push through it and maybe lose, but mostly win. And at the end of the day, I will know that I fought the good fight and that I didn't just sit there and do nothing which is the biggest defeat of all.

ps: for those folks who might be visiting this summer and feel like they're going to show up and the house/yard are gonna look like I have a professional landscape/home care service, be aware that it didn't get like this overnight, and it won't necessarily be cleaned up overnight. I'm just saying...

peace,

Deb

Being a Daring Cook

So, my daughter-in-law, M, has this food blog. She posts recipes and ideas a couple of times a week including hits, suggestions and photos of what she's made. I really enjoy reading it and it inspires me to pull out some new recipes and maybe not just have the same old thing over and over. Keep in mind that I love to cook and really enjoy new recipes. In the sidebar of her blog was this cute little button that said "The Daring Kitchen" so I clicked on it and was whisked away to a wonderful world of cooks and bakers that post a challenge monthly. Typically, it features a technique or an ingredient a lot of us would be unfamiliar with. I joined and got a little scared, but then, they posted the May challenge.

Our hosts this month, Barbara of Barbara Bakes and Bunnee of Anna+Food have chosen a delicious Stacked Green Chile & Grilled Chicken Enchilada recipe in celebration of Cinco de Mayo! The recipe, featuring a homemade enchilada sauce was found on www.finecooking.com and written by Robb Walsh.

Having lived in New Mexico and learning to roast and can my own green chiles was quite a boon for this meal. The sauce had to be made from scratch and featured roasted green chiles and tomatillos. Oh my goodness, it was delicious!

Here is the sauce recipe:

1½ pounds Fresh Anaheim chiles (about eight 6 to 8 inch chiles) 24 ounces 678 grams - roast, peel, remove seeds, chop coarsely. Other green chiles (NOT bell peppers) could probably be substituted but be conscious of heat and size!)
7-8 ounces Tomatillos (about 4-5 medium)212 grams - peel, remove stems
4 cups Chicken broth (32 ounces/920 grams)
1 clove Garlic, minced
2 teaspoons yellow onion, minced
1 teaspoon dried oregano
½ tsp Kosher salt (add more to taste)
¼ tsp Black Pepper (add more to taste)
2 tablespoons Cornstarch (dissolve in 2 tablespoons water, for thickening)

Green Chile Sauce

1. Put a medium saucepan of water on to boil and remove the papery outer skin from the tomatillos. Boil the tomatillos until soft, 5 to 10 minutes. You can also grill the tomatillos until soft.
2. Drain and puree in a blender or food processor.
3. Return the tomatillos to the saucepan along with the chicken broth, chopped roasted green chiles, minced onion, oregano, garlic, salt and pepper.
4. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat and then reduce the heat and simmer for 10 minutes.
5. Add the cornstarch/water mixture and stir well. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is thickened and reduced to 4-5 cups, another 10-15 minutes.
6. Adjust seasonings and add hot sauce if you want a little more heat.

I saved a little of the sauce out so I can fix Huevos Rancheros for C, now that she's home from school. It's one of her favorite meals.

I had the option of baking the stacked enchiladas in one big dish or in smaller dishes, but I chose the big dish. Here's a photo:

I know it doesn't look like much, but it sure was tasty!

I'm really glad I joined in the fun and I'm looking forward to next month's challenge and also that of the Daring Bakers.

Peace,

Deb

Faith - Don't leave home without it

I am a firm believer in Faith. Faith is like Hope with a backbone. You can hope something will happen, but with faith, you believe that it will. I believe that the (not so) simple act of having faith lends faith it's strength and truth. Hoping something will happen sort of tosses something up into the air and maybe you get heads, maybe tails. But having FAITH that something will happen turns those hopes into truths. You can't just say you have faith, you REALLY, REALLY have to have faith, to believe that it's a truth, to believe that God or the Universe or whatever you believe in will see that you trust It to take care of the situation. Back in the day, when I was a struggling single mom going through a messy divorce, I was waiting tables in a little cafe in a one horse town, I decided that I really needed to buy a house for me and the kids. A logical choice from a woman who had basically no income, tons of debt and bad credit and barely a foot to stand on. But I had faith. I ended up waiting a some older ladies and we got to talking. One of them was selling a house here in town. She wasn't going through a realtor, just selling it herself. Now this house just happened to be one that I'd walk by almost daily. It was after the lunch rush at the cafe and my boss said that I could leave and look at the house. So I did, knowing that there really was no way I could EVER buy a house. I fell in love with it. It was perfect. In town so the kids could walk to school safely, big back yard, the old house I'd always wanted to live in. I dreamed about this house. Once I decided that I wanted it, I went to a mortgage broker here in town and unbelievably, someone decided that they'd give me a shot. Again, I had faith. My friends who knew my situation asked me what my back up plan was because they knew I wouldn't get it. There was no way I could. I was getting ready to be up in my lease at my old house and had no other alternatives. I told them I didn't have a back up plan. I told them that if I came up with a back up plan, it meant that I didn't truly have Faith that my needs would be met. I still live here. I know in my heart, that there is no earthly explanation for me to have gotten this house. None.

All of that was for this.

I've been having a crisis of Faith lately. It happens every once in a while, and it's so dumb. I know that time and time again, when I give things/needs/desires over to Faith, not only are they met, but I am also blessed with such a peace in my soul. I don't need to stress about bills or repairs or birthday gifts, but somehow, in my flawed heart, sometimes I still do. Or if there's something that is a need, but also a want...and I want it NOW...and then I see that I'm acting like a spoiled child. And I'm ashamed of myself. I've been shown the promise of security time and time again and yet I still fall into the pit of anxiety and obsession.

And then, when I realize the error of my ways and I lay all that stress and anxiety on the altar and step away and let the clouds of uncertainty disolve, God's love and truth shines down on me again and I have a day like I had yesterday, filled with the truth of the Promises and beauty of living simply and with the earth and the joy of sharing it with others and a feeling of serenity and peace. Which I think we all need on a daily basis.

I wish you all peace,

Deb

All things considered,

I really should be in bed. Tomorrow at work is my long day. 9am to 7pm, and I'll need to get up early to get dinner in the crockpot. Chipotle Black Bean and Vegetable soup. A customer at the shop gave me the recipe and I've tried it once before and it's delicious. It's also really nice to have dinner ready after working a long day. DH will be home long before me, so if he's hungry he can dig in when ever he wants. He usually waits for me though. Such a sweetie.

I'm working on my list of craft show projects. I got some very good suggestions from my daughter in law. She suggested more smaller items: wall hangings, placemat and napkin sets, seasonal items and baby quilts. I think I'll also ask on facebook what folks might like to see and buy at a high end artisan craft show.

I finally finished the alterations I was doing to barter for goods from a friend of mine. She runs a CSA (community supported agriculture) and in our trade she gave me several tomato and pepper plants. All kinds, slicing, cherry and paste tomatoes and bell, jalapeno (green and black), poblano and anaheim peppers. She also gave me a csa share. A huge bag of fresh lettuce greens, garlic greens, elephant garlic, fresh rosemary and thyme and some coriander. Quite a haul. I gave her a dozen eggs, altered two pairs of pants and hemmed two pairs of jeans. All in all, a good trade.

Yesterday I went out and got quite of bit of work done. I cut all the saplings off the alley way fence line, planted all the tomatoes and peppers and got them all mulched. Indoors, I finally gave in and put the duvet away in the blanket chest and carried all the fire wood in the living room back outside. What that means is that we're sure to have a freak snow storm or some such nonsense. I think I left firewood in the house til July last year, just to be on the safe side. Then I ran into town and facilitated a "support group" at the shop for customers who are doing any of the Blocks of the Month projects. It was 3 hours when they could come to the shop and get help or just have a dedicated time to work on their BOMs. I took my handcrank and worked on a class sample. I only had 2 ladies show up, but it was the first meeting of the group. I'm sure it'll pick up some steam. It's free to our customers.

Well, like I said at the beginning, I really need to get to bed. DH is already snoozing as he has a very early morning.

Y'all sleep well,

D

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Had a relatively calm day today. I got up and ran into Frisco about 10am to do my grocery shopping at Target and Sprouts, home by 12-ish. Walked the estate and watered a few things that I just planted and then I started sewing. I did some bartering with a friend. Alterations and hemming for plants and seeds, so I got that job all done today. Then onto the Buggy Barn quilt.

I fixed some pop overs as a side for dinner. DH had never had them and they're about the easiest bread product ever. I pulled down an old popover pan (I assume) that I've had for years and never used and baked some up. They were quite a success and DH liked them alot. I'll have to keep that recipe in my head to whip up on nights when I don't have enough time to bake a loaf of bread to go with dinner.

I promised you pictures of the tumblers quilt, so here they are.

1400 pieces (ish) or so. Now I can't decide how to quilt it. I really had wanted to hand quilt it, but now that I have another Christmas piece that I NEED to hand quilt I might just go ahead and machine it. I would like to use both of them this year during the holidays. The other is a wall hanging, but it's a Baltimore style so it will require quite a bit of quilting. I guess I should decide pretty quick though.

I went online today and downloaded an application for the War Eagle Mill Craft show. It's my holy grail I think. I'm working up the courage to start doing craft shows. There are several fairly large ones in this area, but I'd love to get into the War Eagle one. DH thinks it's a great idea and it could be quite lucrative. I guess I need to quit sabotaging myself and just do it. I think I'm just afraid that I'll fail and then all the time and money put into it would be wasted. Perhaps I just need some one to hold me accountable. I guess I need to work up a plan. What I can make to sell, how much time required, etc. Do I make quilts that are quick or quilts that are pretty? Do I make contemporary quilts or country quilts? Wall hangings, queen size or miniatures in frames? Quilted tote bags? You guys, who ever you are that reads this, give me some input. If you were to go to a large arts and craft fair with money to burn and you came across a quilt booth, what would YOU want to take home with you? I guess there's just about nothing that I'd rather do with my day after chores and gardening than quilt. And If I could generate some income doing that, that'd just be amazing.

Ok, well that should give you guys something to think about and PLEASE leave your opinion in a comment. I'd love to hear what y'all think.

G'nite

D

Candy Coma

So the other day, I was at the grocery store and all their Easter candy was on clearance. My bright idea was to buy some and send it to the kids. They got opened. And sampled. And double sampled. It's not like I ate a whole bag, there's still plenty of candy. But I don't eat candy. I don't even hardly eat sugar. And I certainly don't do more than a cup of coffee or tea's worth of caffeine in a day. I know, I'm a freak. Whatever. I woke up this morning feeling just icky. Head achey, sluggish, and apparently I get mean. But only to my DH. Which really isn't a good thing. I spent the day drinking tons of water and working in the yard, trying to rid all that poison from my system. I don't think it's all gone yet though. Still headachy and feeling funky. I think I'm gonna take the next few days and try to detox it out. No more candy for me. Well. Probably in about 6 months I'll do it again, knowing full well what's going to happen and feeling like a jerk when I do. It's kinda stupid to eat something knowing that you're going to pay for it. Oh well, I guess I'll keep trying to learn from my mistakes.

On the up side, I got a few things done today. Paid bills, made a menu and grocery list, cleared out a veg bed and got the corn planted, went to the feed store for chicken fud and caved and bought 2 tomato plants and a pepper plant. Got them in the ground, did some laundry and worked in the sewing room for a while. I got the final 2 rows sewn onto my Christmas tumblers quilt. It's huge. I'll take a picture tomorrow. Approximately 1400 tumblers. I hand pieced most of it, but once I got close to the end, I just went ahead and finished up on the machine. I fixed a lovely dinner of marinated chicken breasts, herbed rice and fresh asparagus. Shoulda made bread, but we survived. I started cutting for the next class sample, a Buggy Barn Crazy quilt out of the new Moda line called Oz. Funky, 60-ish type prints. And I completed another hand pieced LeMoyne Star block for, you guessed it, a class sample. I sure hope I get some students. I'm spending all my time doing class samples and don't have time to do the paying jobs.

Watched the final Stars hockey game of the season. We won. :)

It's time for bed. DH has to get up at 4:30 (eww) and I should probably get up relatively early and head into town to do my grocery shopping before all of Frisco is out and about. Then home for more yard work and class samples. It's a good thing I like to garden and sew.

Peace,

Deb